I’ve carried a lot of trauma growing up, and even though I’ve made peace with it, those negative feelings still haunt me almost every day.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a “Yes Man.” I found myself constantly making others happy at the expense of my own peace. I was terrified of rejection; every time someone asked for help, I’d say yes-even when every fiber of my being wanted to say no.
I know where it comes from. Back then, “no” was met with retaliation. I was forced to comply until that fear sank deep into my throat, choking my ability to speak up. I stopped opening up. I became a man who looks happy on the outside but is torn to pieces within.
When I’m alone in my room, that’s when the mask slips. The questions start racing: Why does no one understand me? Why does no one ask if I’m okay? It feels like even the universe is against me-whenever I save up money for a dream, something always comes up to take it away.
So, what do I do when it feels like too much?
I turn to video games. As a gamer, getting lost in a First Person Shooter or the world of GTA helps me vent. It takes my mind off the darkness, even if just for a moment. But I know these escapes aren’t permanent. The nightmares and the memories of being bullied-of feeling like no one was ever there for me-they always find their way back.
But I’ve realized something: The best way to deal with the pain is to speak it.
I know it’s hard. You’re afraid of being judged. But you don’t have to talk to someone you know. Sometimes, a stranger is easier. I used to use a Discord server called Airtalk; it’s gone now, but the idea remains. Whether it’s a site like airtalk.live or just a kind stranger, venting it out is always better than bottling it up inside.
Don’t let your feelings drown you in silence. Find your voice, even if it starts with a whisper to a stranger.
What about you? How do you deal with negative feelings? Are you an always “yes” person? Let me know in the comments!
